You don't have the corner on the curmudgeon market, but you're the most well-known. Some day you'll give up your post at CBS' 60 Minutes, and I'm here to take over. In fact I'm available immediately since I'm currently unemployed. I know in the past some of the female replacements on news programs have been blonde (think Leslie Stahl, Diane Sawyer). I've got that covered. I was born blonde, and have kept it up through the years. Like you, I've never had plastic surgery (or at least I don't think you have) and no botox; however, I'm not opposed to either.
They say when you lose a job, sometimes you have to reinvent yourself, to get ahead. I'm ready. Let's call this Day 1!
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