Sorry Andy, this is one topic that will not make the broadcast on Sunday evening. I just couldn't resist talking about it, though. And no, I'm NOT talking about the election. That may be a story in itself. I'm talking about vaguely useful drugs on TV, aging, and the propensity that older people seem to have talking about their bowel movements. Specifically they like to talk about whether they have them or not, and to what regularity this happens.
There has been an ad on TV recently, that is for a "colon cleanser." The announcer goes so far as to say that if you don't have a daily bowel movement, you could be carrying up to (almost) 5 lbs. of fecal waste. After two days this jumps to 10 lbs (give or take) and after 3 days, well, you're carrying a load equal to a small watermelon. Scary, huh? Gotta be damned uncomfortable!
Now let's digest this information a bit (pun intended.) If the amount of food you eat gets digested properly, let's assume 90% would be absorbed. That would leave 10% fecal waste. Think about this. To have 5 lbs of fecal matter in one day, you'd have to eat approximately 50 pounds of food, presumeably, the day before. If you equate that to something you can relate to, think of 200 quarter pounders, less the bun and condiments. I don't know about anyone here, but one quarter-pounder a day would be plenty. Of course I'm not ruling out the obligatory french fries, and soda that I'd have to eat and drink along with this. Hungry?
Colon cleanse...it's the right thing to do! It'll give you something to talk about at the retirement home! Make you sound like an information portal!
Sorry Andy, couldn't let this one go by, on Day 15!
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